i was working on getting my ltfl paperwork done.  borrowed annette's car for a trip to the post office to get the last box of books.  wish i could do it on my bike, but i didn't know how big the box was going to be and i assumed it would be larger than i could tote on my back.  anyway, then i rode back to her coffee shop, dropped the car off with the box, took the receipt and rode home on my bike.  i don't really love doing admin but i don't hate it either.  but now that i have all my numbers crunched and all my paperwork figured out, i realized that the printer is out of ink so i can't make copies of the needed documents.  so, i guess i'm going to have to get other things done and worry about this later.  i also think i left my phone in annette's car, so the people i was going to call/text are out as well. 

i did the tour de tucson on saturday.  it was suprisingly easy, considering i didn't train at all, just went on a 14 mile ride on thursday and that was it.  i didn't rush at all, i set the pace and continued at it and did the 35 miles in 2.51.  not bad, not bad.  i wasn't out of breath at any time, never felt dehydrated, and felt like i could keep riding for another however-so miles when i was done.  the only thing was that i had a monster headache later that night, i think just from my neck getting tight during the race.  i borrowed my friend julie's bike.  it is such a sweet, cute bike and it has some fun stickers on it.  i love it!!!  here's a picture of it:

unfortunately, there are no pictures of me riding on saturday.  we all forgot our cameras and the only person who took one was my sister on her camera phone when i stopped by her house (it was right on the route!)

i'm listening to some music that rachel e gave to me on itunes.  it is amazing and so is she.

i was thinking today about apprenticeships.  you know, how back in the day, the only way to really learn a trade and get a job was to apprentice someone.  you either inherited some ungodly amount of wealth and land, were forever stuck in poverty or slavery, or you became an apprentice.  this is obviously an overarching generalization.  anyway, i was thinking about apprenticeships and how you basically followed someone around and watched them do something like shape a glowing piece of metal into something useful or weave a silken thread into an unrivaled masterpiece.  you would follow them around and learn, maybe do some of the grunt work, like gathering and clean-up.  eventually they would let you hold a tool or finish off a part of the process, and then you would slowly get more and more masterful at it.  then one day in your mature years, you would have someone desiring to capture all that is in your mind, your past, your experience and see it come out of themselves.

i was thinking about it today because i was thinking about life and the people who are in my life.  i was thinking about how the Holy Spirit breathes in and out of me.  i was thinking about how afraid i am that i will disappoint or fail people.  i'm not talking about people liking me or respecting me or even appreciating me.  i'm talking about getting to the end of the day and realizing that what i said or what i did wasn't the truth or maybe it was the truth but it was tainted by my own fear and selfishness and pride.  i'm learning these lessons right now.  i'm learning that i can't control every situation or every relationship or every person.  i'm learning to let go of people and see the Holy Spirit do something beyond what i could say or initiate or catalyze.  i'm learning that i can be a spiritual apprentice to people, which is an important and vital part of life, but the "trade" exists in and of itself.  it is something beautiful and powerful that exists on its own and thus it must be treated as such. 

these are my thoughts today.

last night was one of those nights that you just smile and feel content at the end of.  we had our first women's group and i was just so happy to see all of the women who came out.  there were new ones and old friends and everyone stayed after and talked and ate cake.  kate made my absolute favorite kind of cake - yellow with chocolate frosting, yum!  we laughed and talked and it was beautiful.  it made me really excited for this semester, to see these girls and realize that we are on this journey of healing and adventure and discovery and i get to help them with it.  what more could i ask for? 

i was biking home (which from my house to kate's is exactly 4.3 miles, thanks to bri who checked it on her iphone - so i would have biked 8 miles yesterday except for the following story) and when i was almost to grant going up mountain, i saw someone walking their bike across the street.  she had her lights on and her bike looked pretty nice and i thought, that's strange that she's walking her bike like that.  so, i slowed down next to her and saw that she had a flat back tire.  i stopped because i had my bike pump in my bag and asked her if she wanted to try it.  she tried it, but it didn't work, so i asked her how much further she had to go.  'only about a mile and a half,' she said.  i could tell she didn't want to inconvenience me, so i laughed and said, 'only a mile and a half?!?' i decided to call caleb and see if he could come pick us up since he has a bike rack.  luckily he wasn't doing anything right then.

while we were waiting, we chatted.  i found out she is a phd student and she did her undergrad in east texas.  she taught english in china for 2 1/2 years, during the time that i was supposed to go to china!  i never ended up going because of sars, so we talked about sars and what it was like.  i told her about chi alpha because she asked what i did and she said that it sounded familiar, which kind of surprised me.  by the time caleb got there, we'd become friends.  when we got in the car, caleb asked her where we were taking her, and she said, 'oh, i live just past ft. lowell on a street called halcyon.'  yeah, it turns out she lives about 30 seconds from where i live.  amazing!  i told her i would stop by again and say hi because we didn't exchange numbers.  it felt so nice to be able to help someone random and find out that we are neighbors!  i'm so grateful that i get the privilege of helping so many people.

and that is the long and short of it.